Death wish Hahal? There is NObody to die, neither hot nor cold......warm perhaps, but Laodicean never. We live under the hypnosis of the myth of mental knowledge, the glamour and illusion of our culture and theology. To know the maths is to live on the surface of things, mind possesses so much data knowledge, names and forms, facts and theories, truth and falsities, though they can be interpreted in a myriad of ways to prove this theory or that, ultimately it offers no certain knowledge. The numbers may stack up in a stupendous quantity, but it is sheer illusion, the human mind loves big numbers.

 The mind is always bound to an object that can be measured, named and bound in maths.....but all that ignores the subjective, living element of life. The intellect reduces everything to a superficial appearance, to the lowest common denominator. The problem is that all logic involves duality.It never attains the transcendental, only what is mundane, the world of matter. It is the rule of matter over the mechanism of the mind....you cannot resolve duality or non duality by means of logical syllogism, there always remains a gap, that cannot be bridged....yes, the 'Con' of consciousness.......even that is a concept based on duality...conscious and unconscious.

The known God is always an object, otherwise it would not be known, it is an object of the mind's imagination.
God can never be known as the absolute unconditioned, only the phenomenal can be called real, even the mind's object/idol, must both have a conceptual existence, as the mind is but an image making apparatus depending 100% on it's senses, and the imagination, perhaps the 6th sense. Huang Po an ancient Easter philosopher said: "you will never reach the Mind by means of the mind." St.Paul said of the Transcendental Mind of Christ the same: "leading every thought captive to Christ."

So no amount of law abiding, amounts to anything but conceptual pride, reported to be a major sin against God. Only unmerited Grace can get you beyond the Law, beyond space and time that Law operates in exclusively. As such it is an honour to receive or give, but yes, even that is a trap as it too is all conceptual. God is not some idea or concept that can be transmitted through man's toy language from one person to another, the impersonal Reality, the infinite cannot be found by the finite, it must rather be something unexpected, not told about, that can never be found through a process of thought, it is the nature of thought to fabricate things, to project what it desires or wants or thinks is important, especially as God is considered so important. Mind is also divisive in it's thoughts, convinced it is right.

God as a word has acquired so many false ideas, like the word love. The problem is we seek God through the profane the mundane thoughts of man, through the same mechanism that has thoughts of evil, to kill, rape and plunder. But rather God being spiritual has no material or intellectual basis, it is not within the field of the known, that of theology still based on thought.

That which shaves in the mirror, does not shave, what is seen is not shaving, but rather that which is not seen, is an example. Plato's shadows on the wall in the cave are not real characters, one has to leave the cave, the world of time and space to know that, but when he comes back the cave dwellers kill him for his knowledge, yes in that sense one is crucifying oneself.

No amount of dedication will give you enlightenment. Yoga is the science of silencing the mind and transcending the mind, but it still uses the mechanism of the mind. While of great value they cannot take you beyond the mind, it may become rather an obstacle, falling into division will not root out the fundamental division within us, of separating our selves from the Universe as a separate self. There remains in all a deep conviction that this Universe is one whole, seamless like the Garment of Christ, which indeed the Universe is. The warp and woof of this garment is woven by the Holy Spirit the inner dwelling God, no static absolute, but a fast moving shuttle, for God is actually a verb, an activity, an unutterable essence, that is felt by those who rejoice that God is the unknowable, and that they too are the unknowable joined in the bonds of eternity, yet this Judaic dualism of evil and good satan and god is resolved in Jesus, when he cried out "I and My Father are One." Then the props of doctrine and morality cease to feed the ego and instead give flight to the spirit of man. God having chosen the spirit of man to be a mirror of Being, dwelling in our purified hearts, so man may come to realize, beyond his ego and personal identity, the realization of his Highest Identity the SELF of all of us...."God all in all."