You are extremely fortunate Mike to have a Mother that can dispense this ultimate medicine "I AM". Moses tried so hard with the Jews, to deliver this message from the "I AM THAT I AM" but failed and died this side of Jordan.
True death is only on the other side of the Jordan Gilgal, the last encampment.Only there can you see what an illusion ego is.You cannot kill ego, but once you discover it has no source in reality, it no longer has power over you. Once you perceive your shadow not to have reality in itself, it no longer bothers you. It is there but you just let it go. That is why Paul said "Daily I die".

The same with an historical Jesus, what belongs to the past is gone. It can never be a living thing, only an image in memory which none Today have ever experienced. We experience the reality of Jesus when we give up all our ideas, concepts and precious beliefs of our own. The Christ{Jesus] is the "I AM" in all of us.

When the "I AM" ceases to be a concept, neither male or female, divine or human it can no longer suffer,be attacked, die, or be bound. It soars into the glorious Empyrean Above, unbound by our serial time. What we are "I AM" fills all dimensions, knows all things including all Time.

You have to feel sorry for poor old ego, that psychological creation of ours bound by Space and Time, a mere three dimensional creature, not even knowing the Fourth dimension of Time as the other three dimensions. It has to experience every segment of time like a frame on a movie. Each frame that appears then disappears from view as another arrives. How meaningless this SEEING, how meaningless the world it gives.:rollin