When Joe Bob Ledbetter was a little five year old boy, his Moma loved him very much. Being a worrier, she was concerned about him walking to school thru the swamp past all them 'gators when he started into Kindergarten.
She walked him to school a couple of days but then he came home and told his moma that he was a big boy and did'nt want her walkin' him to school ever'day. He protested loudly, so his moma had to come up with an idea of how to handle this.
She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would follow her son to school on the sly, close enough to keep a watch on him, but at a distance behind him so as he would not likely notice.
Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well. So she agreed.
The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Joe Bob as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew....... She did this for the whole week.
As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and 'gator droppings, Joe Bob's friend noticed that this same weird lady had followed them every day, all week. Finally, he said to Joe Bob, "Have you noticed that lady following us all week? Who is she?
Joe Bob matter-of-factly sez, "That's just Shirley Goodnest"
"Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?"
"Well," Joe Bob explained, "every night my Moma makes me say the 23rd Psalm along with my prayers cuz she worries about me and them 'gators so much. And in it, the prayer psalm says, "Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life" so I guess I'll just have to get used to it.
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
A kid answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
Joe Bob Ledbetter said knowingly, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you come up with that?"
Joe Bob said, "Well, you know.... they are always talkin' 'bout Verge n' Mary.
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KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in
heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."
---------------------------------------------------------------
A young Joe Bob was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry 'bout it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
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In Sunday school, they were studying the Ten Commandments.
When they came to the last one, the teacher called on Joe Bob to tell her what it was.
Joe Bob stood tall and stuck his chest out and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off'n the neighbor's wife."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother had been teaching her three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime,
the child would repeat the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
each word right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us some E-mail.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Bob's mother was fix'in pancakes for him and Ray Nel, his six year old brother.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
and moma saw the opportunity for a good moral lesson.
"If Jesus wus sittin' here, He would say,
"Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."
Joe Bob turned to his little brother and sez, "Ray Nel, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back?"
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In Sunday school they had taught Joe Bob that man was formed out of the dust of the ground.....and when he died he would return to the dust.
One day Joe Bob and his brother was hide'n under his bed from a whuppin'.
Joe Bob sez, "Ray Nel.....theres a man under this'hyer bed....but I don't know whether he's a'comin' or a'goin'.
She walked him to school a couple of days but then he came home and told his moma that he was a big boy and did'nt want her walkin' him to school ever'day. He protested loudly, so his moma had to come up with an idea of how to handle this.
She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would follow her son to school on the sly, close enough to keep a watch on him, but at a distance behind him so as he would not likely notice.
Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well. So she agreed.
The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Joe Bob as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew....... She did this for the whole week.
As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and 'gator droppings, Joe Bob's friend noticed that this same weird lady had followed them every day, all week. Finally, he said to Joe Bob, "Have you noticed that lady following us all week? Who is she?
Joe Bob matter-of-factly sez, "That's just Shirley Goodnest"
"Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?"
"Well," Joe Bob explained, "every night my Moma makes me say the 23rd Psalm along with my prayers cuz she worries about me and them 'gators so much. And in it, the prayer psalm says, "Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life" so I guess I'll just have to get used to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
A kid answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
Joe Bob Ledbetter said knowingly, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you come up with that?"
Joe Bob said, "Well, you know.... they are always talkin' 'bout Verge n' Mary.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in
heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."
---------------------------------------------------------------
A young Joe Bob was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry 'bout it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
In Sunday school, they were studying the Ten Commandments.
When they came to the last one, the teacher called on Joe Bob to tell her what it was.
Joe Bob stood tall and stuck his chest out and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off'n the neighbor's wife."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother had been teaching her three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime,
the child would repeat the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
each word right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us some E-mail.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Bob's mother was fix'in pancakes for him and Ray Nel, his six year old brother.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
and moma saw the opportunity for a good moral lesson.
"If Jesus wus sittin' here, He would say,
"Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."
Joe Bob turned to his little brother and sez, "Ray Nel, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Sunday school they had taught Joe Bob that man was formed out of the dust of the ground.....and when he died he would return to the dust.
One day Joe Bob and his brother was hide'n under his bed from a whuppin'.
Joe Bob sez, "Ray Nel.....theres a man under this'hyer bed....but I don't know whether he's a'comin' or a'goin'.
